HOW TO ATTRACT A PARTNER, PART 1

In order to make the Beagle episode about natural and sexual selection visually interesting and to liven it up a bit, I and the rest of the (male) crew follow a course on how to attract women. In Buenos Aires. "How do you get a man into bed” and the advanced course “How do you keep him there?” The chat-up course for men is now behind us. Hardly worth mentioning, except that that course was given by two boys who call themselves magicians in their daily lives. I found both of them quite unattractive and all the antics they taught their students on how to get a woman in to bed didn’t alter my opinion of them..

The course for women, however, is hilarious. Especially since I would describe the course leader Paula as hysterical. For me it all started with the location.

In a busy, narrow dark street with tall buildings, hiding behind a high door with an impressive grille, a beautiful antique wooden staircase curves elegantly up to the first floor. Paula, a common sort of woman, with red lipstick and chewing gum, greets us with a verbal overload. She's wearing cut off jeans jeans topped by a black strapless tank-top which she continually has to hoist up in order to hide her breasts (or perhaps not?). We find ourselves in a mirrored ballet hall.

Without thinking I find myself searching for the excercise bar and ballet shoes lying around. Hmm, this must be the modern-ballet or jazz ballet department. At 8 o’clock sharp the course starts. Paula, who apparently is well known among Argentines as the woman you teaches the best way to blow men and how to masturbate, enjoys her popularity. I'm guessing a bit, but I am not exaggerating when I say that 50 wildly enthusiastic women are seated, cackling on the parquet floor.

You won’t find that in the Netherlands. If you get 50 women together, they’ll listen expectantly and somewhat cynically. Reactions usually consist mostly of contradiction. Thankfully the Argentines are very different.

I look around, amused, and see women ranging in age from 20 to 65. All single. What are these ladies doing here? Each and every one looks great! Paula chats and chirps, and the ladies laugh in agreement. Everything that’s being said applies to young and old, pretty and prettier. It's about the do's and don'ts towards men, about how you should behave. Make sure you're not boring but that you showcase yourself, open your mind, remember that men are afraid of women. A few tips about body language and all the rest of that familiar tune. Personal anecdotes from the audience add to the general laughter. It is a chicken coop with a vengeance.

My ears are ringing. The atmosphere is incredibly good. Paula is great. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.